Author Topic: JOKE OF THE DAY  (Read 7276 times)

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Offline customguitar

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JOKE OF THE DAY
« on: December 11, 2009, 03:53:24 pm »
did you hear the one about the grasshopper that walked into a bar and the bar-tender says " Hey, did you know that there is a drink named after you?" and the grasshopper says " Really?, Theres a drink named Steve?" ;D

c'mon, you gotta laff at that one :madness:
HAMER STEVE STEVENS
KRAMER 1984 BARETTA
KRAMER GORKY PARK
IBANEZ RG 321
IBANEZ RG 320
IBANEZ RG 321
DIGITECH RP 250
DIGITECH BRIAN MAY RED SPECIAL
BOSS GT 6
PEAVEY BACKSTAGE 50

Offline Jerryman

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #1 on: December 11, 2009, 04:24:47 pm »
OVERHEARD AT DAIRY QUEEN;


Man: "I'll have a sundae please"

DQ girl "you want crushed nuts?"

Man "you want your tits bit off?"
The Norton won't tame anything.  A fantastic pickup, it will make your LP sound like a wild mongoose who is piloting a F-22 raptor and smoking crystal meth

Offline CityofBlindingLights

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #2 on: December 11, 2009, 05:56:36 pm »
A physicist, a biologist, and a mathematician are standing outside a building. They watch two people walk in, and three people walk out.

The physicist says: "That's experimental error; we can discard this information."

The biologist says: "That's proof of reproduction!"

The mathematician says: "If one person walks in, the building will be empty."

Offline kareemb0

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #3 on: December 14, 2009, 12:42:29 pm »
How do you call a dinosaur that's had an Indian Curry?

-  Megasoreass
Quote from: DiMarzio.com
Have you ever heard a bridge pickup that made a guitar sound like a giant mosquito attack? If you've run into this problem, The Tone ZoneŽ is the solution sell your Boss Metal Zone 2.

Offline darkbluemurder

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #4 on: June 03, 2014, 08:39:42 am »
What is the inscript on the tombstone of a blues musician?


... I didn't wake up this morning ...
Area 67, Area 58, VV Pro 54, Injector neck, HB2, Cruisers, Virtual Solo, SDS-1, Area T set, Area Hot T, Area T 615, Virtual Hot T, Chopper, Chopper T, Bluesbucker, Breed set, Air Norton, SD, DLX+, DLX-90, DP240, DP198, VHPAF, AT-1, Morse set, Super Distortion S; Norton

Offline darkbluemurder

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #5 on: June 04, 2014, 06:13:28 am »
How many country singers does it take to replace a light bulb?




Five. One replaces the bulb and four sing about how beautiful the old one was.
Area 67, Area 58, VV Pro 54, Injector neck, HB2, Cruisers, Virtual Solo, SDS-1, Area T set, Area Hot T, Area T 615, Virtual Hot T, Chopper, Chopper T, Bluesbucker, Breed set, Air Norton, SD, DLX+, DLX-90, DP240, DP198, VHPAF, AT-1, Morse set, Super Distortion S; Norton

Offline darkbluemurder

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #6 on: June 05, 2014, 04:15:03 am »
Three lawyers are riding in a balloon and have lost orientation. After a while they see a group of people on the ground so they shout: "Where are we?" The people on the ground shout back: "In the balloon."

Puzzled and confused the lawyers in the balloon think long and hard about what kind of people they saw on the ground. Then one speaks up: "They must have been lawyers. The answer came fast, was correct to the point but was not really useful."
Area 67, Area 58, VV Pro 54, Injector neck, HB2, Cruisers, Virtual Solo, SDS-1, Area T set, Area Hot T, Area T 615, Virtual Hot T, Chopper, Chopper T, Bluesbucker, Breed set, Air Norton, SD, DLX+, DLX-90, DP240, DP198, VHPAF, AT-1, Morse set, Super Distortion S; Norton

Offline darkbluemurder

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #7 on: June 06, 2014, 03:37:43 am »
Question: what makes two plus two?

Answer: depends on who you ask.

Mathematician: four.

Medical doctor: I believe it is four but you may want to get a second opinion.

Lawyer: I believe it is four but you will never know what the courts decide.

Certified Public Accountant: what do you want as result?
Area 67, Area 58, VV Pro 54, Injector neck, HB2, Cruisers, Virtual Solo, SDS-1, Area T set, Area Hot T, Area T 615, Virtual Hot T, Chopper, Chopper T, Bluesbucker, Breed set, Air Norton, SD, DLX+, DLX-90, DP240, DP198, VHPAF, AT-1, Morse set, Super Distortion S; Norton

Offline darkbluemurder

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #8 on: June 12, 2014, 11:03:00 am »
The difference between a jazz guitarist and a rock guitarist?

The rock guitarist plays three chords before an audience of 1000 ...
Area 67, Area 58, VV Pro 54, Injector neck, HB2, Cruisers, Virtual Solo, SDS-1, Area T set, Area Hot T, Area T 615, Virtual Hot T, Chopper, Chopper T, Bluesbucker, Breed set, Air Norton, SD, DLX+, DLX-90, DP240, DP198, VHPAF, AT-1, Morse set, Super Distortion S; Norton

Offline darkbluemurder

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #9 on: June 13, 2014, 06:27:18 am »
A jazz musician goes to the doctor. The doctor hesitantly tells him: "You have only three months to live." The jazz musician is utterly shocked: "And on what?"
Area 67, Area 58, VV Pro 54, Injector neck, HB2, Cruisers, Virtual Solo, SDS-1, Area T set, Area Hot T, Area T 615, Virtual Hot T, Chopper, Chopper T, Bluesbucker, Breed set, Air Norton, SD, DLX+, DLX-90, DP240, DP198, VHPAF, AT-1, Morse set, Super Distortion S; Norton

Offline darkbluemurder

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #10 on: June 23, 2014, 07:27:25 am »
A skeleton visits the doctor. Doctor: "Why couldn't you have come earlier?"
Area 67, Area 58, VV Pro 54, Injector neck, HB2, Cruisers, Virtual Solo, SDS-1, Area T set, Area Hot T, Area T 615, Virtual Hot T, Chopper, Chopper T, Bluesbucker, Breed set, Air Norton, SD, DLX+, DLX-90, DP240, DP198, VHPAF, AT-1, Morse set, Super Distortion S; Norton

Offline darkbluemurder

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #11 on: July 08, 2014, 03:56:24 am »
What is the last thought of a mathematician before dying?

I didn't figure this out.
Area 67, Area 58, VV Pro 54, Injector neck, HB2, Cruisers, Virtual Solo, SDS-1, Area T set, Area Hot T, Area T 615, Virtual Hot T, Chopper, Chopper T, Bluesbucker, Breed set, Air Norton, SD, DLX+, DLX-90, DP240, DP198, VHPAF, AT-1, Morse set, Super Distortion S; Norton